Broken Heart

When your heart chooses a path, and you walk so far,
nothing can turn you back from where you are.
No pain, no scars can make you turn away,
there's nothing that anyone can do nor say.

You're scared, your hurting and the tears seem to never end,
but you think in your mind "I would do it all again".
For the little moments, that get you through the bad,
For the few happy moments that get you through the sad.

For the few laughs and smile, and the jokes and the care,
that you wish so wholeheartedly would always be there.
You'd try to make them happy in ever possible way,
but it seems to worsen with every passing day. 

All you want is for them to hold you and let you know that they care,
but know matter how hard you try, they don't, and it doesn't seem fair.
Your whole heart now broken, you hope for a change, 
but you know somehow even through your prayers they will always be the same.
Your love won't let you leave, and you continue to hope for the best,
and pray every night that God will take care of the rest.

....at the point where money is no longer of interest in life .. you want a happy life .. you begged for it

Goodbye Kiss

I love you more than you'll ever know, a part of me died when I let you go

First love never die

Bersimpati dengan masalah cinta seorang kawan, jadi teman luahan perasaan, cuba tolong untuk selesaikan masalah. Tapi dalam sedar atau tidak, masalah aku lagi teruk, aku mendiamkan masalah cinta aku. Hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu. Nasib

Oh, I thought the world of you. 
I thought nothing could go wrong, 
But I was wrong. I was wrong. 
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie, 
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used, 
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you. 
But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.

When you're gone

:)

From now.. I will create values for myself.. I will show to the world what I'm capable of ... Come on Syamil, you can !! Even though you're alone.... Some many difficulty you've been through, no one can stop you... No one

Goodbye love

I just need to go,
on my own,
live apart,
from you,
from now..

Walk alone,
leave a door,
touch my hand,
oh please hold on..

I dont want to,
leave you behind,
but I'm just want,
to get it done..

I don't hate you,
I do love you,
but time has come,
I have to go..

Mungkinkah.. Kerana Dia..

Di kala cuti menjelang, ku masih disini, sndri berdiri mencari sesuap nasi.. Bicara ku dengan hati yang sepi.. Sepi kerna rindu,rasa mencintai,dicintai.. luka kerna di tipu lagi.. Oh Tuhan.. berikan lah aku kekuatan ampunlah aku dan keluargaku.

Exhausted

   Penat.. penat .. penattttttttt.... Hari2 balik lambat dari keje... abes kol 10.30 bagai nk gila... but i have to accept it as challenge.. I'm new in this world.. Keep myself busy, very grateful to have good friends around me, hopefully my life get better n better. I dun really give a shit about past. I should move on.. move on .. and move on. Its okay to live alone.. I should be okay..

-.-

   Aku bukan lah orang jahat pon.. klu org pandang aku, mesti kate aku 'arrogant' la.. poyo la.. apelah salah aku dpt first impression camtu.. pastu aku mula la wat dgn bhati-hati sgale mcm supaye org xpandang slek kat aku.. igt senang ke nk wat camtu.. all heart effort tu... tension gile.. bukan salah aku pon klu muke ni cam samseng ke ape.. bkan salah aku pn nampak kecik, pendek, nampak senang nk pijak kpale.. aku xrase pon aku baik, tp aku xbuat jahat kat org pn.. nk knal naluri aku ? aku suke binatang comel2 mcm kucing, even musang pn aku suke aw.. nmpak kucing meow2 pn aku da ksian, rase nk order nasi ayam kat kucing tu mkn skali ngn aku.. tp aku xbuat la mcm tu coz xdibuat org.. aku kasi ape yg ak mkn..nk kate aku samseng? nmpak anak lipas pon ak lari lintang pukang... aku nmpak samseng coz aku merokok ? .. pondan pon merokok aw.. ape lagi eh aku suke.. aku suke budak2.. pantang je aku nampak budak2 escpially baby2.. mmg aku layan even ngan jelingan mate... nk kate aku pukul org? dh lame sgt da aku xgado sampai pkul2 ni.. aku jenis cepat sedeh, aku cepat down, tp aku xpnah give up, jenis cepat jeles, tp bukan jeles membabi buta la.. aku selidik dlu.. recently, past few years ni.. aku dapati, xde satu bende pn even maen games, aku pakar dlm bab tu.. xkire la bab ape pon.. aku xleh jadi pakar.. keciwa bai ade perasaan mcm tu.. haa,, kadang2 aku ni rase aku ni kuat meminta, tp jauh di sudut hati aku, aku tau aku klu bleh xnk mintak ape2 pon.. kadang2 apa yg aku nk tu satu keperluan bagi aku, orang xpandang another side of aku ni.. klu bab impian, pehh aku mmg angan mcm2 la.. tp baru2 ni, aku rase nk belasah orang.. tu bleh jd impian jgak aw... eh dah dekat kol 2 pagi.. tido dlu ar

I miss her so much.. its gonna take forever to forget her. Why she need to lie to me? Coz she didn't know what I knew about her? I fucking hate the girls. I never believe that men always wrong in this case. You fuck my belief that I gave to you.. Then fuck you..

I will go away.... like forever. What I realize about myself, I'm not good enough on whatever I do, it is better for me to walk away. Away from love. Away from misery. Away..

I HATE LIARS .. I CANT KEEP THEM IN MY HEART

Who Am I To Say

Im just a youth with a broken heart. Im not a lover, Im not deserve to be loved.

No choice

Sometimes, you just cant get anything you want, you cant be a different person other than yourself. You're born with what you're born with..

When I journey to the base of this pain I place the blame on the one who holds my name and no-one else, deal with the cards I’ve been dealt, I’m about to follow what I’ve always felt.

Purity from the inside out

Fuck this, I’m sick of the shit, sick of the business, sick of the world tending to be my witness, sick of pretending to be this identity hypothesis, force my metamorphosis, throw my caution to the wind with total thoughtlessness.

 

I and I is a hungry soul, society gone bad but we need not fall so face the demons stealing into these maddening days, find them in the minds eye, take aim and blow them away.

 

We got to purify, from the inside out.

WALK

Really cant sleep, Pantera's song really boosting up my adrenaline rush... "Are u talking to mE??!! "

A long way to go... Journey of Deeper Life

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.

Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...

Life can be blissful and happy and free...

Life can put beauty in the things that you see...

Life can place challenges right at your feet...

Life can make good of the hardships we meet...

Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...

Life can reward those determined to win...

Life can be hurtful and not always fair...

Life can surround you with people who care...

Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...

Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...

Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...

Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

So...

Take the Life that you have and give it your best...

Think positive, be happy let God do the rest...

Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet...

Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet...

To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall...

Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all...

Take the love that you're given and return it with care...

Have faith that when needed it will always be there...

Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see...

Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free...

The idea here is simply to even the score...

As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War

Looking forward.... in life

I just cant start, whatever I want to do... whenever I plan even in one second, then it will lost & disappear in second after... I just wanna be something, like be somebody else & hoping can bring along myself without leaving "it". But it seem impossible because I need to pay more if I demand more. It is called SACRIFICE.

I do rely to both of you.. i`ve seen emanuel status,jack status.. its all about arsenal.. that shows how true gunner rolls.. make ur story in arsenal pls.. be legends

Nice quotation from my fellow gooner

Cesc, why can't you just stay in Arsenal and continue to build your own legendary story here? You know, if you go to Barcelona and just be part of team to win, people will not remember your name but just Lionel Messi. In the history, the great man will always need to away from their countries if they want to achieve something great. Please stay and write your story in Arsenal, this is your home, your team, and your heart should belong with.

rama duk kate wane plop Sesupi ni bolox molek er.. tetibe er... baham pil kude?

aku jawab... amek mase duk sorang diri,muhasabah diri.. ingat lah MATI

berseronok bleh... tp biarlah berpade-pade.. klu xske.. im not ur friend anymore..

Tuhanku, ampunkanlah segala dosaku

Tuhanku, maafkanlah kejahilan hamba-Mu

Kusering melanggar larangan-Mu

Dalam sadar ataupun tidak

Kusering meninggalkan suruhan-Mu

Walau sadar aku milik-Mu

Tuhanku, ampunkanlah segala dosaku

Tuhanku, maafkanlah kejahilan hamba-Mu

Bilakah diri ini kan kembali

Kepada fitrah yang benar

Pagi kuingat petang kulupa

Begitulah silih berganti

Oh Tuhanku Kau pimpinlah diri ini

Yang mendamba cinta-Mu

Aku lemah aku jahil tanpa pimpinan dari-Mu

Kau pengasih Kau Penyayang Kau Pengampun

Kepada hamba-hamba-Mu

Selangkahku kepada-Mu seribu langkah Kau kepadaku

Kusering berjanji dihadapan-Mu

Ku sering juga memungkiri

Ku pernah menangis karena-Mu

Kemudian ketawa semula

Ku takut kepada-Mu

Ku mengaharap juga pada-Mu

Semoga ku kan selamat dunia dan akhirat

Seperti Rasul dan sahabat

Tuhan diri ini tak layak ke surga-Mu

Tapi tidak pula aku sanggup keneraka-Mu

Ya Allah... Kurniakanlah aku hidayah sebenar-sebenar hidayah... Sesungguhnya aku hanyalah hambaMu yang jahil, sejahil-jahilnya manusia... Ku pohon pada Mu

doh ade aku suruh mg bace ke? meluat sekor mung la

Such thinking that most deaf and dumb

It is so fucking hard to believe, when there are so much things that we expect we know very well, we expect we can explain very well.. But, they just stuck in your mind and your mouth cannot fucking say anything... You just shut the fuck up and ending stunned yourself~

Simple but bad dream,made me wake up..

Aku : " Ko kelas aku kan? aku cam penah nampak ko dlm kelas.."

X : "Aha.."

Aku : " Abes ko pg mane slame ni ? "

X : " Aku pg maen snuker, hehehe.. "

Aku : " Lor,maen snuker,patut ar cam penah nampak kat tempat snuker "

X : " Aku lepak ngan bla bla bla ( lupe sape ) "

Aku : " Name ko ape er? "

X : " Name aku bla bla bla ( lupe sape ) "

.....sambil Si X bwak myvi oren ( situasi mcm baru balik dari kelas.. aku duk sebelah seat dlm kete tu )

X : " Hahaha, aku ckp nak sewe kereta,padahal member aku nak buat PSM "

Y : " JP13 tu ? "

Aku : ( aku diam dan aku dgr je .. si Y dah pandang2 aku... )

X : " Aha,JP13 la... hahaha... aku ckp la kat die aku nak sewe kereta, die ckp kat aku " ko jgn bla bla bla ( lupe detail ) ".. ahhahaha"

Y : " Hahaha.. macam mane tu er.. "

X : " AKu call die, die bla bla bla ( lupe ) ... hahahahh ( gelak cam excited+kelakar)

Aku : ( hati dah panas...benci dan segalanya )

...situasi cam dlm bilik/hostel..tgh lepak2 kat ruang tamu....aku baring atas lantai diantare pintu bilik... dorang sembang atas tilam....

........................................................

other than a trust, compassion, responsibility, love involves feelings of pain, hatred and sorrow. Love is not a term that everyone really knows, love is really invisible. People can feel it but never/cannot touch it. Love is not always sweet but sometimes bitter. Beliefs and lies stand between sweetness and bitterness of love ( bittersweet of love ).

Do I know what love is? Anger and jealousy are part of love and part of myself. I love someone deeply, but eventually she did not know it very well. Men are not the same as women.Never compare both species and you said you know it. That`s bullshit.

I `m just not too good in writing, but the sentences keep flowing in my mind.Yeah, I let go the bad memories, but the scar is always there. That should become the important reminder for me and you.

aku mane suke gaduh2 ni..

aku ni laki, nak melawan pn tengok jantina,

mane ade betine lawan jantan.. tu setan

Having a friend like the shadow is much better than having a friend like a rainbow asthough the shadow is dark and black, but it is always beside us, compared to abeautiful rainbow, but only temporarily.

UMNO is not the way of life ~

Kesan daripada pemerintahan UMNO selama lebih 50 tahun :-

Kes rogol meningkat

Kes rompak meningkat

Kes ragut meningkat

Kes kecurian meningkat

Kes pembuangan bayi meningkat

Kes murtad meningkat

Kes rasuah meningkat

Kes penceraian meningkat

Gejala sosial yang negative meningkat ( Pergaulan bebas dll )

Kesimpulan kes jenayah dan gejala sosial yg buruk meningkat

Punca:

UMNO tidak menitikberatkan soal agama Islam.

UMNO kurang didikan agama Islam.

UMNO menitikberatkan pembangunan zahir semata-mata.

UMNO memisahkan politik dengan agama Islam.

UMNO tidak melaksanakan hukum hudud dalam undang-undang Malaysia.

UMNO lebih mengutamakan Melayu berbanding agama Islam.

UMNO mendewa-dewakan demokrasi yang korup.

UMNO tidak berada pada landasan yang benar.

Oh FAILURE please come to me.. I want to learn from you~

xD

Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate

Both my hands were witnesses..

Recently,I have seen the excitement and success of others through a variety of sources. Mostly I had never experienced and enjoy like them. So, I asked myself, whether I'm in a loss?Am I jealous? In fact, the forms of questions like these are always disturbing my thoughts.Yeap, I'm in the loss. I wrapped myself with ignorance, stupidity, deceit and laziness. That is the essence of my life now. Even so, honestly, I really intend and want to change myself to the good. I need a little more time. Deliver my soul and body, O Creator ..

My Dream

I want to be a great guitarist..
I wish I would ~

Getting confuse and confuse ....

Upset and time ticking..
Imagine the great dream that impossible to achieve..
Lack of confidence and guts..
But life still go on..

I`m just ordinary person..

Always tired, but never asleep ~

tEnsiOn TeNsiOn ~

aku ingat sume dah ok.. ade plak hal laen yg buat aku sakit hati..
klu terjadi kat orang laen pon,konpom sakit hati gak..
patut la trase berat di hati.. uper2nye ade gamba2 yg xmenyenangkan..
klu ikotkan hati ni trase nak kasi penerajang la jgak.. tp sape la aku nak sentuh2 orang ni..
aduh la.. xpaham aku.. sabaw je la~

Aku bersedih dengan ape yg berlaku dekat Palestine tu..
aku xmampu nak buat ape... dengan ape yg berlaku, aku trase hine..
Israel telah melampaui batasan ~

Harini, aku bangun dari tido pukul 11 pagi. Dalam cuti ni, biase2 bangun dlm tengah hari or petang. So, bangun pade kol 11 pagi ni, aku still rase penat. Aku tengok henset ade 2 msg dan 2 miskol. Owh, msg ni drpd awek aku die bgtau die sudah bertolak ke pulau.. dan sudah naek bot.. Sebenarnye, mase die call tu aku dah sedar.. aku just buat2 xdengar je.. Sbb aku rase, aku xsanggup nak lepaskan die pg.. Walaupon die pg cume untuk sehari,aku rase macam die nak pg selamanya.. Aku rase macam ditinggalkan.. Aku pon xpasti dengan perasaan ini.. but it different.. Xsame time klu die nk pg KL dengan family ke, pg vacation ngan family ke.. even a week. aku xrase macam ape yg aku rase sekarang.. Sbb aku nak g pulau tu jgak ke? Ataupon term "pulau" tu yg agak jarang digunakan dlm kehidupan seharian aku, buat perasaan aku rase laen? Ataupon pulau tu melambangkan perpisahan atau pon pemergian? The feeling, it`s is quite mystery for me. Well, I hope she`ll be ok there and have a good time with her friends.

Actually, aku bangun lebeh awal arini bukan nk ckp pasal ni pon. Ni sekadar nk bgtau perasaan aku ketika ni. So, when I read this once again,I`ll know how I feel at this time. That the purpose of it. Hmm, nak tulis story dlm blog aku rase cam susah sket klu banding tulis lam buku diari. Walaupon yg sudah ditaip, boleh didelete bile2 mase je, bagi aku ia xsemudah spt tulis dlm diari. Haha,stakat aku tulis ni pon rase2 nye dh byk aku delete.

Spt dlm buku diari pon, aku hanya tulis pasal kehidupan semate2. I always remind myself, " There`s no end when talking about life ". " Tiada penghujung apabila bercakap pasal kehidupan ". Context of life, context of living is so wide. Kali ini, aku nak sentuh pasal ego. Egoism. Sebelum ni pon aku dah tulis pasal ego ni, but see.. its wide.. egoism is wide. Belum ckup pon ape yg tulis sebelom ni.. so that prove enough my quotation. I take 2-3 days to think about this. About ego of livings.

Bagi pendapat aku, ego seorg lelaki tidak sama spt ego seorg pmpuan. Seumpama ego seorg ayah tidak akan same spt ego seorang ibu. I dont know if the fact is was there before, scientifically found by some else, I dont know. Tapi, aku hanya dpt merasai, melalui ego sbg orang lelaki shj. Ape yg aku nak ckp, aku xtau mcm mane ego seorg pmpuan. I`ll never know. Adakah sekadar perlu seorg lelaki untuk tahu mcm mane ego seorg pmpuan?.. atau penting untuk memahami egonya? Hahaha, susah nak tahu or memahami klu selagi xmengatasi ego dr sndr sbg seorg lelaki. Sbab aku melaluinya. Sbb aku, xyah ckp memahami la.. nak tahu pasal ego pmpuan pon aku dah mls. I dont care. I dont want to know. coz it heavy. it burden. aku rase meluat, menyampah, benci klu melibatkan ego ni. Xperlu ego org laen, ego aku sndri pon aku dah benci. It is out of control. Uncontrollable. It act like a poison... and i cant stop it. I cant even find what the solution of ego. Smoke? So, how long it would be ? ... Hang out? But whos ur fren ? .. Game? Till when?.. thas why i hate ego. it makes me ill. I hate ego.

How I Describe The Term of " Happiness "

When I can buy whatever things I want..
When I can sleep tight either day or night..
When I can go to somewhere that I love...
When I can eat without feel worry..
When I can watch television alone..
When I can play my guitar freely..
When I can talk to the cats..
When I can see my family happy..
When I can bath all days..
When I can be with my girl..

and when I die in my bedroom..
=)

What the things I HATE most ..

I hate ring tones and I hate to hear them. I hate sms. I hate to accept calls because I hate to talk,I guess.
I hate friend. I hate friends. I hate both. I hate noise but I hate silence too. I hate books. I hate broken remote controls. I hate my hair and I hate myself.

I hate egos. I hate kids when they cry. I hate to see refrigerator without food. I hate to see people laughing. I hate to watch the beach full with people. I hate to enter a shop with a bunch of people. I hate people outside.

I hate to depend on money. I hate to depend on other people. I hate waiting. I hate rain and hot. I hate days and nights. I hate feelings. I hate friendships and loves because I just hate this life.

Owh one more, I hate flies and islands.

There`s no a term of " BEST FRIEND " in my life. What a beautiful life ~